It's time to adopt a foxhole mentality...

One of the things I hate with posting on the internet, is you are really limited in how much you can say. Say too much and no one will hear you. Say too little and people will be left to make their own (often incorrect) assumptions.

Now my last post certainly got some attention. Some people liked my ideas; others dismissed them as a noble but foolish quest. Some accused me of thinking I was a messenger of God promising to lead you all to the Promised Land.

And I also got to meet the spies, fanatics etc. More on that in my next post ;)

Now I am no prophet. And I am not trying to start my own group. I simply would like to see much more unity and cooperation on a local, state (and yes) national level.

Some of you hate my ideas for various reasons. Some are afraid my words will splinter an already splintered alliance. Others fear the opposite; that my words will help inspire and unite you in some way. But that’s ok.

I know trying to get you guys to work together on any level is difficult. If it were easy it would have been done long ago by those who have “been in the trenches” for 10-20 years.

These people seem put out that a relative newcomer like myself should open his mouth so strongly. They wish to know my credentials, my background, some ask “what have I done for the movement?” They seem to feel I need to pay my dues before raising my voice.

My credentials are these; I am a dad… a daddy… a parent…. a non custodial parent… a man who has had his heart ripped out of him and his child stolen from him by a documented sociopath with the courts blessing. I am a man who will not be satisfied by getting his child back. I am a man who has dedicated the rest of his life to fighting for equal custody and fair treatment for both parents, so that the lost time with my child isn’t for nothing.

I feel like the Lee Marvin character in the movie “The Dirty Dozen” trying to get a bunch of strong willed characters to work together. And to paraphrase Lee’s character, I almost wish you guys WOULD all hate me…at least then you’d all have THAT MUCH in common.

I am getting as bad as you guys, with these war analogies, but hey guess what… this IS a war. Only we too often don’t treat it as such. If I found myself in a foxhole with a bunch of other soldiers, here’s how I would look at em….

I would not care what sorta gun they were using (or if they were too liberal or conservative for my tastes) so long as that gun were pointed in the right direction. If they were a lousy shot I would try and help improve their aim (or in this case encourage them to learn about the law so they could better fight their own case) but I would still rather have em next to me even if their aim sucks, cause even the worst shot can get lucky once and awhile.

I would not worry about having the biggest foxhole or the most guys in it, and I would not keep count, nor boast of my kills. I would measure my success or failure on any given day in terms of how much damage I had inflicted upon the enemies in front of me and their overall effort.

I would encourage my unit to work together and to work with all the other units, sharing all intel and ammo. I would not tear down those in command positions, even if I didn’t always agree with their methods, so long as they were doing more harm (to the enemy) then good.

That is not to say I would follow them blindly over a cliff.

Even suspected spies/traitors would be welcome in MY foxhole, so long as their gun was pointed in the right direction. Even when their gun eventually ends up pointed at me; I’d still find a use for em. Their job would be to stay in front of me and collect as much of the enemies spent ammunition as possible.

I would not let the fact that the other side has so many female soldiers convince me that all females are my enemy.

I would welcome ANY who had the guts to fight along side me. I would remember that the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Some of you seem to have forgotten that this is a war, and instead of foxholes you are setting up &^%$# country clubs with ridiculously exclusive membership.

We can’t all be "Rambo"... some of us are more closely resemble "Forest Gump."

But you know what… that’s ok too.

Because at the end of the day…Forest Gump's Congressional Medal of Honor is just as big and shiny as Rambo’s anyway.

Joe Carruba

An Invitation

As many of you already know, Dr. Mark Klein (a renowned psychiatrist and well respected businessman) is currently in the “testing the waters phase” for a possible 2008 Presidential bid.

His core platform is the equal custody act. http://klein4change.com/

He is the only potential presidential candidate willing to make equal rights for non custodial parents an issue.

In the wake of the F4J debacle our movement needs to be more careful about whom we choose to support.

As an admittedly cynical man who has not seen nor heard from his own child in almost 2 years I would not waste my time nor allow my name to be linked to a pretender.

Dr. Klein is the real deal!

This man has all the trappings of a true leader. He has integrity, he has intelligence, he has compassion and he has the stones to stand up to these fat cat politicians right in their own house. I have (for instance) had the privilege to stand beside him and watch as he told the senate banking committee in no uncertain terms; they are destroying the middle class and they don’t know their assets from their elbows.

He is not in this for the money; in fact he has been funding this campaign out of his own pocket.

Now he is asking for our help.

He will be in Memphis, Tennessee March 9th thru 12th for the 2006 Southern Republican Leadership Conference. http://www.srlc.org/

Click on the link to “Register” and fill out the online registration form, and under the box marked “Party Credentials” check off “other” and write in that you are a Supporter of Dr. Mark Klein. That way they will know you are not there for free punch and cookies ;)

Dr. Klein will be there. I will be there. The politicians and media will be there. The leaders of the father’s rights/non custodial parent’s rights movement will be there.

The only question now is; will you be there???

Joe Carruba

"It's an Invisible Life"

http://www.freenewmexican.com/news/7878.html

Well as I see it, if the courts can order a man to pay for an invisible child, we need to heed their profound wisdom and make the world a more politically correct place for ALL invisible children. I think this poor woman and her child have been the victims of blatant discrimination.

As one invisible activist reminded us; “We need to look past the issue of visibility and see the person inside. Even the term “Invisible Child” is very offensive. We prefer to be called “Transparent Americans.”

Steve Barreras has already issued a formal apology to the child’s mother Viola Trevino for his lack of sensitivity; “If I had known the child was invisible I would have paid in kind and only sent invisible checks.”

Miss Trevino was unimpressed. “He’s a typical deadbeat dad, doesn’t give a damn about that child! He never even attended any school functions. This year our child was chosen to play the part of “The Ghost of Christmas Past" for a school play. But as usual Steve said he was too busy working overtime to pay his child support to come and see it.”

“When I told my child her daddy was simply too busy to come, it left her speechless!”

The Governor meanwhile has ordered a full invisible investigation to “Try and shed some light on this matter” but so far only invisible charges have been filed.

A spokeswoman for Miss Trevino said that in the unlikely event she ever faces real charges she intends to file suit against the state of New Mexico.

“My family has been devastated by this; it has left my child a shadow of her former self. The poor kid cried yesterday while reciting the pledge of allegiance at school….”

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, invisible, with liberty and justice for all.

A Wake Up Call

Fathers' rights

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
The Fathers' rights movement is a loose network of interest groups, primarily in western countries, established to campaign for equal treatment by the courts in family law issues such as child custody after divorce, child support, and paternity determinations.

Now granted, Wikipedia is hardly the world’s most reliable source of information, since readers have the ability to edit it themselves. However in this particular case I would say that paragraph is a very accurate summary of the current state of father’s rights.

We are disorganized and expending much of our energy fighting each other. I have talked to several of the long time father’s rights advocates about this problem.

Apparently there was an attempt made some years ago to get all the various father’s rights groups out there to unite under one flag. But after several days of arguing, the only thing they could ALL agree on was “men’s health issues.” They then spent time talking about their prostates (or so the story goes.)

Since I wasn’t at this meeting I can’t say exactly what went wrong. But just from my relatively short time in this war, I can pretty well guess, based on what I have already seen and heard.

We have people unwilling to put their egos aside. People who are apparently more concerned with making a name for themselves then of truly winning this thing.

When faced with a natural disaster the key is a well coordinated unified plan of dealing with it. If you doubt that, go ask the folks of New Atlantis (AKA; New Orleans.) Like when there is a major forest fire you see firefighters out there doing different things but it’s all a well coordinated group effort.

We don’t have that.

What we do have is 100 guys (ok more like millions) all taking off in 100 different directions because they believe only THEY know how to put out a fire.

So you end up with a bunch of guys using everything from fire hoses, to water pistols trying to put this thing out. Some are even diving head first into the flames in an attempt to smother them. As the fire spreads some people give up and go home (or to their local bar stool) while others turn the hoses on each other.

And people like me are left standing there shaking our head realizing why it is the father’s rights movement hasn’t accomplished much in the 35 years it’s existed.

Well my candor may make me unpopular with some of you, but hell I’m not in this thing to win miss congeniality. I want my kid back and I refuse to sit back and wait another 35 years for that to happen!

Whatever your original intent, I believe many of you have lost sight of whets really important here. Our enemy is the system. Not one another or the entire female population (as some of you seem to think.) Our goal is to get our children back… not see who can have the prettiest ^&&$$#! headquarters.

We need to make the politicians and judges fear our wrath the way they do with groups that ARE organized like the NAACP or AARP.

We need to show them that there are severe consequences for stealing our children. ANY of our children.

These are our kids. We need to put aside our philosophical, geographical and political differences.

Now I care about domestic security, the economy etc.... just like you.

But from now on I will vote for or against a politician depending solely on whether or not he intends to support family law reform and equal custody.

I don’t give a shit if he is a republican or democrat. Hell I wouldn’t care if I caught him goose-stepping across the parking lot, as long as he is going to use his seat in office to help me get my kid back!

Now we have a rare opportunity here folks. There is a man some of you have no doubt heard of named Dr. Mark Klein. He is seriously considering a presidential bid and his main platform is the equal custody act. http://www.equalcustodyact.com/

Now I have met Dr. Klein and spent some time with him. He is a good man, who has been putting up his own money to help us with our fight.

Some of you may agree with his political views, some of you may not. It shouldn’t matter to you. If it does you really need to reexamine your priorities.

We need to show this man he has our support. That is all he needs to see, to go from “considering” a presidential bid to formally launching one.

Now obviously he (Dr. Klein) knows he is a long shot candidate. But his odds of success dramatically increase if we non custodial parents can put aside our differences and rally in masse behind him.

Just him being in the race could change everything. Right now, if a presidential debate was held tomorrow, people would be talking about Iraq, and paying $3 bucks for a gallon of gas, and the issue of custody would never even see daylight...

Do you think Dick Cheney or Hillary or any of the other presidential hopefuls even HAS a position on custody or child support?

With Dr. Klein’s help they will damn well have to come up with one fast.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. Well folks …35 years of infighting has simply not gotten the job done. Oh we may have scored some small victories here and there, but the states are still taking away our children and sending us the bill with impunity!

As I see it, we can either spend another 35 years helplessly watching them do so. Or we can do the one thing that will make a difference. The one these corrupt bastards don’t want to see happen. We can unite!

First in support of Dr. Klein and then who knows…

Maybe if we can put aside our differences long enough to support this man, we can build on that and become more then merely “a loose network of interest groups”

Perhaps…a whole lot more.

Joe Carruba

A Non-Custodial Welcome

Greetings,

There is a war going on, and I am not referring to that disaster we are engaged in over in Iraq. Although many of the soldiers returning home from that ugly battle will find an even uglier one awaits them right here. I’m referring to the custody war. Here is but one example of it; http://www.woai.com/news/state/story.aspx?content_id=CC580570-C785-45A8-A52E-C63F6511E741

And here’s another… http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2003/11/10/MNGK82U6IC1.DTL

Now if you think the current custody laws aren’t totally screwed up, then consider what it’s like for these men and women to put there ass on the line for their country and as a “thank you” be stripped of their kids!

Not that it’s any less painful for the rest of us civilian non-custodial parents to sit back and watch the courts steal our kids.

Now in the past few months, I have learned quite a bit about The Custody War some of us are being forced to fight. I can actually say I have been to the front lines. Both in court and outside of it.

I have met (or learned about) most of the major players on the board. We in the father’s rights advocacy realm even refer to them and each other as “soldiers.” I have learned that in most cases men are severely discriminated against in custody hearings. That is not to say woman don’t also occasionally lose their kids wrongly as well. The courts stupidity on the matter knows no bounds. To these bastards our children are nothing more then case numbers with big dollar signs attached.

I feel really bad for dad’s who are new to all of this. They come to these father’s rights rallies in desperation and despair. Many with the misguided belief that we father’s rights advocates can just pick up a magic phone and tell some incompetent bias excuse for a judge; to give this guy his child back NOW!

Fraid it doesn’t work that way.

In fact in most cases we are in the same boat you are. I mean think about it, if we had such a magic hotline, don’t ya think we’d use it to get our own children back?

The truth is unless (like me) you have been to what we call “the front lines” chances are you really don’t have a clue how the war is going. That’s why I decided to create this blog.

To sorta bring back word from the front. To share with you what I see out there in my travels, both good and bad.

And along the way I also plan to plug my own website/novel which I created as a way of getting the truth out about how and why I lost my own child, something I was never properly given a chance to do in court. The website is appropriately entitled http://givebackmychild.com/ It’s free. Really.

I will also be plugging a man named Dr. Mark Klein who is seriously considering running for president on the equal custody platform; http://www.equalcustodyact.com/

This man gives non custodial parents a chance to drop an A-Bomb on the heartless lawmakers and judges who have so callously taken our kids away!

Anyway that’s all for now… As a parent who finds the holidays nothing but a grim reminder of what he has lost, I wish you all at least a tolerable holiday season and a big custody victory in the New Year.

Joe Carruba